


She Paints Me Blue

by lit_chick08



Category: Vampire Diaries (TV)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon, Crack, F/M, Future Fic, Shameless
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-04-14
Updated: 2012-04-14
Packaged: 2017-11-03 15:53:53
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 13,105
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/383203
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/lit_chick08/pseuds/lit_chick08
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Outside of Mystic Falls, Elena and Alaric realize what they feel for each other is more than platonic.  However, life in Mystic Falls is never far behind, and it's incredibly hard to outrun your past.</p>
            </blockquote>





	She Paints Me Blue

**Author's Note:**

> Title comes from "She Paints Me Blue" by Something Corporate

Elena was pure, anxious energy as she and Alaric drove to her dorm at the University of Richmond. Though it was barely two hours from Mystic Falls, Elena felt as if she was leaving her entire life behind, exchanging all she knew for the beautiful stone buildings and shaded drives which made up the college. She had said her goodbyes to Caroline and Bonnie a few days earlier, both of them having to leave for Columbia and Emory respectively before she did; Matt was staying at home, working full-time at the Grill while taking some classes at Mystic County Community College, and he had said his goodbyes the night before, hugging her a little too tightly.

Damon and Stefan both said their farewells this morning, both offering to accompany them, but Elena refused. If she was going to move on, she couldn't go to college with her two vampire boyfriends.

 _A fresh start_ , she reminded herself.

By the time she collected her student ID and room key, the other first-years were swarming everywhere, unloading cars and U-hauls. Elena felt her stomach flip nervously as Alaric parked the car, turning to look at her with a smile.

“Not too late to make a break for it,” he teased.

Elena smiled before resolutely getting out of the car, walking around the back to start removing her stuff. Ric followed, encouraging her to load him up with the heaviest totes, and, as Elena complied, she couldn't help but notice the other girls around her, the ones who were accompanied by their fathers. Before they died, Elena always imagined going to UVA like her parents; her father would take her, Jeremy, and Matt to the football games every year, rhapsodizing about his time there and how excited he was for Elena and Jeremy to go there some day as well. When it came time to apply to school, Elena couldn't bear filling out the UVA application; she could hardly stand it _now_ , seeing the fathers who did not die in car crashes, the brothers who did not choose to stay in Colorado after danger passed because they preferred living with family friends to living with their sisters. 

She doesn't know what exactly Ric is to her, but, right now, he's the only guy who stays.

They had just finished unloading the car, Elena's anxiety starting to increase as she realized Ric was going to leave, when the door to the room burst open and in spilled a tall girl with wild red curls, followed by who Elena assumed were her mother, father, and two brothers. She knew from the housing information she received that her roommate was Madison Crawley from Jackson, Mississippi; she knew from the text messages they'd exchanged that she preferred to be called Maddie, she broke up with her high school boyfriend before leaving for college, and she could not wait to get away from her severely overbearing parents. Ric had laughed when Elena recounted one text conversation where Maddie warned Elena that she was “kind of high-maintenance but not in a bitchy way” and began to tease her that she was secretly going to be rooming with Caroline.

“Oh my God, you must be Elena!” Mrs. Crawley announced, startling Elena by drawing her into a tight hug. “Madison has told us so much about you. I'm sure you two are going to have such great times.”

“Nice to meet - “

“Why don't you two girls get together so I can take a picture?” the older woman rushed on, nudging Maddie in Elena's direction, directing them both to stand in front of the window. Ric swallowed back a smirk as Elena and Maddie both smiled in the direction of Mrs. Crawley's iPhone. The woman was preparing to take another when one of Maddie's brothers began to complain about the weight of the boxes, snapping his mother back to reality. As the family rushed off to start unloading, Maddie looked at Elena in pure humiliation and said, “I'd like to apologize in advance for everything my family is going to put you through today. Please do not judge me off of them.”

In Maddie's very thick Southern drawl, the words made her sound even more long suffering. Elena and Ric both chuckled before Elena assured her, “Don't worry about it.”

“Madison!” her mother shouted from the stairwell and, with a flinch, Maddie disappeared out the door with a rueful, “Parents.”

“It was like a Mississippi tornado,” Ric said, sending Elena into a peal of laughter. When it tapered out, she caught a glimpse of the face of Ric's watch and said, “You probably want to get going, right?”

Ric shook his head. “I can stay as long as you need me.”

“I don't...I mean, you don't _have_ to - “

“Elena.” Resting a hand on her shoulder, squeezing it gently, he assured her, “I'm where I want to be right now. No one is making me stay here. So...what do you say we go wander around a little bit, maybe buy your books, see what's up?”

She never loved Alaric Saltzman as much as she did in that moment.

By the time they made it back to the dorm, Maddie's plentiful belongings were everywhere, but the Crawleys were nowhere to be seen, likely having gone to lunch before making the trek back to Mississippi. Elena set her new textbooks - _$934 from her trust fund_ \- on her desk before turning to look at Ric.

Taking a deep breath, she stated authoritatively, “You should head home.”

Ric nodded. “You'll be okay?”

Her voice was certain even if she was not. “Yes.”

“If you need anything, just call me, okay?” He pulled her into a hug, and Elena tried not to squeeze him as tightly as she wanted; she breathed in the scent of his cologne beneath the perspiration, and she swallowed hard to keep tears at bay. “Day or night, big or small, just call. I'm always here.”

“I know,” she rasped, holding him a little tighter. “And you can call me too. Let me know what's going on with the Council and everything.”

“Sure.” Pulling back, Ric smiled affectionately, cupping the side of her face before stepping in to press a kiss to her forehead. “You're the strongest woman I know, Elena Gilbert. You're going to have a great life here. Just let yourself enjoy it.”

A stray tear rolling down her cheek, Elena countered, “And you need to move on too. Minimal hunting, less drinking, maybe making a friend who isn't Damon.” She smirked at his playful scowl. “You can still have a great life too.”

They embraced one last time before Ric finally left. Elena sat on her neatly made bed, trying to will away the tears which were streaking down her face, wiping in embarrassment when Maddie burst through the door, mercifully free of her family this time. For a moment Elena tried to think of an excuse, but it was unneeded; Maddie plopped down beside her, pushing her sunglasses up to rest on the top of her head, and gave Elena a side-hug.

“This year is going to be fucking awesome,” Maddie revealed matter-of-factly. “No more tears, okay?”

Elena was not convinced her new roommate wasn't a little insane; she _was_ convinced that Maddie Crawley might just be exactly what she needed.

“Okay.”

* * *

Ric always worried about Elena far more than he worried about Jeremy. It wasn't because Elena was a girl and Jeremy was a boy; it wasn't because Jeremy was somehow more capable of a person than Elena because, unlike his sister, Jeremy had a tendency to rush into situations with his eyes deliberately shut tight. No, the reasons he worried about Elena far more than Jeremy was simple: Jeremy was able to let things go and move on while Elena seemed to stubbornly cling to the darkness which surrounded her life for so long.

Damon told him he was being paranoid, that Elena could take care of herself and, with the threat of Klaus gone, she'd be fine; Alaric suspected Damon said it only because he was even more worried than Alaric was.

With Jeremy gone, with Elena at school, Alaric realized he wasn't sure how to live his life without them as a focus. From the moment he arrived in Mystic Falls, he had a purpose beyond teaching history; he was a boyfriend, a vampire hunter, an unlikely guardian to two teenagers, a serial killer, but he had never been just Alaric. He hadn't been just Alaric Saltzman since before Isobel died, and it felt strange to go backwards towards normalcy. Even his place on the Council was more ceremonial than anything; since Klaus left town, there was very little supernatural hijinks to police. 

He found himself drinking a lot less. Without an ever present hangover, life started to get easier; classes weren't such a trial and, with a wide range of free-time, he found himself coaching the girls' soccer team, a job which Damon teased him endlessly over but one Ric found to enjoy. He started making actual friends with the adults in Mystic Falls, adults who don't hunt vampires or attend super-secret meetings at Founders' Hall; Damon started to call him “Joe Normal,” and it started to feel true.

And yet, every time his phone rang, every time a text message arrived, Ric would drop everything to make sure it wasn't Elena needing help, wasn't Jeremy reporting that something was going wrong in Colorado. It took weeks before he began to relax, and it took even longer to recognize just how often he and Elena were talking.

In the beginning, the texts were quick and to the point: Elena liked her classes, everything was going fine, Maddie was dragging her to rush. They were simple, almost impersonal, and Ric knew Damon, Stefan, and everyone else was getting the same texts. He always answered, assuring her he was glad she was having fun, that he'd see her during fall break, sometimes offering a funny story of his own. As strange as it sounded, Elena was his friend, a fellow soldier in the war, and he was grateful for even the most mundane of texts.

His first official date with Meredith happened six weeks after Elena left for college. Ric was out of practice, unsure how to act around the woman who knew he killed founders earlier in the year, but Meredith was a good sport about it. Dinner and a movie both went remarkably well, and, when Ric kissed her on her doorstep, politely declining her invitation to come inside, he thought he might just be able to swing normalcy again.

Ric was slipping into bed when his phone began to vibrate on the bedside table. Blindly reaching over, expecting it to be Damon, he was surprised to hear Elena breathe, “I didn't wake you, did I?”

“No. You okay?”

“Yeah.” He heard her sigh and give a little laugh before offering, “I went on a date tonight.”

“Yeah?”

“Oh, God, Ric, it was _terrible_ ,” she groaned, making him laugh. “Maddie started dating this guy Jake, who I love and is super sweet. He tells her that he has this frat brother who's a nice guy, and she's been on my ass to start dating, so I agreed to go to this party and meet him.”

“Not Prince Charming?”

“Not unless in the first draft of the fairytale, he got completely drunk, spent the night talking to Cinderella's breasts, extolled the virtues of threesomes, and, when Cinderella refused to go upstairs with him, called her a stuck-up bitch.”

“Asshole,” he growled, real anger burning in his chest.

Elena laughed again, soft and breathy. “Well, it can't get worse, right? I mean, there was no blood shed, so it's already surpassed date night in Mystic Falls. What about you? What did you do tonight?”

“Actually I had a date.”

“Meredith?”

“What makes you say that?”

“I don't know, maybe the fact that, every time she sees you, you can almost hear 'Hot For Teacher' playing in her mind?” Waiting until the startled burst of laughter from his lips tapered off, she asked, “Did you have fun?”

Alaric thought about it for a moment before admitting, “It felt forced. I mean, Meredith's great and I like her, but...”

“No chemistry?”

“I don't know. It's like...I could be with Meredith and it wouldn't be horrible; it could even be good. But it wouldn't be...”

“Passionate,” Elena finished, and, for a moment, Ric thought he imagined a huskiness to her voice. 

“Yeah.”

They were both quiet for a long beat before Elena ventured, “I miss you, Ric.”

The words stole his breath for a moment as he realized how much he missed her as well, a thought he hadn't let come to the surface in the past few weeks. To admit he missed Elena Gilbert was to admit how used he had gotten to her presence, how much of a friend he considered her to be.

“I miss you too.”

Ric could hear her shift and then, so softly he knew she was hoping not to be overheard by her roommate, she tearfully admitted, “I know I'm supposed to be having this super normal life, but I just feel so alone. Everyone acts so happy and carefree, but I know what's out there and I just...I feel like the oldest 19-year-old in the world and I just want to come home.”

“Shhh, Elena...” Hating the sound of her tears, Ric blurted out, “Why don't I come see you tomorrow? We'll spend the day together. What do you say?”

“Really?”

She sounded so hopeful, so _grateful_ Ric could hardly stand it. “Really. I'll be at your dorm around noon.”

Alaric was genuinely surprised at how peaceful _he_ felt, knowing he would see Elena the following day.

* * *

“You sure are getting all dolled up for a guy you claim is just a friend,” Maddie drawled as she watched Elena straighten her hair in the mirror on the back of their door.

Finishing with her hair, Elena turned to face her roommate, acutely aware of the makeup she had put on, the cute outfit she had put together. “Ric _is_ just a friend.”

Maddie quirked an eyebrow, amusement dancing on her elfin features. “Yeah, a friend you talk about all the time, spend half of your time texting, use as a basis of comparison for every guy you talk to - “

“I do not!”

“You do too! 'Ric has a car like that.' 'Ric and I used to watch that together.' 'Ric's body is also 80% water.'”

Elena rolled her eyes. “You're making that up.”

“Okay, _maybe_ I'm exaggerating a little but not by much. Even Jake asked me if Ric is your ex or something.”

Wrapping up the cord for her straightener, Elena fumbled for a moment before stating, “Ric really is just my friend. I've told you the story about him.”

“Yeah, history teacher turned Jenna's boyfriend turned _de facto_ guardian.” Maddie's face softened. “It's okay if you like him, Elena. I'm not going to judge you for it.”

“I _don't_.” She sank onto her bed with a sigh. “But even if I did, it would definitely not be okay. Everyone would freak out - “

“Who's everyone? Your brother's in Denver, all your friends are at college. Who does that leave?”

“You don't understand what Mystic Falls is like. _Everyone_ knows Ric and me. It would be the topic of gossip and city council meetings. Stefan and Damon - “

“So you're not going to go after a guy you like because your ex-boyfriends won't like it?”

“I'm not going to go after Ric because it's not like that between us!”

Holding up her hands in defeat, Maddie declared, “Whatever you need to tell yourself, 'Lena.”

When Ric arrived twenty minutes later, Elena made sure she had changed into something more casual, pulling all of her hair up into a high ponytail and removing some of her makeup while Maddie watched in silent amusement. Pointedly ignoring Maddie's look as she left the room, Elena couldn't help but grin when she saw Ric pull into the parking lot, rushing to greet him with more excitement than she knew she was feeling. She didn't feel embarrassed as she flung herself into Ric's arms, holding him tightly as he held her in return.

“Thank you for coming,” she murmured against his ear, still clinging to him.

They went to lunch at a tiny Chinese place Jake had taken her and Maddie to, sampling a little of everything; Ric talked about the soccer team and a field trip to Gettysburg he was trying to organize while Elena told him stories about her classes, Maddie, and her pledge class. Neither of them talked about Stefan, Damon, or any vampires they knew; they didn't even mention Jeremy.

“Do you really not like it here?” Ric asked later as they wandered around the mall, splitting a cinnamon-sugar pretzel and ostensibly looking for a birthday present for one of Ric's sisters.

“I like it. I just feel like I'm not liking it as much as everyone else.” Elena shrugged, tearing off a piece of the treat and popping it into her mouth. “I'm probably just being crazy. I guess, at home, it was easy to forget that my life isn't like everyone else's because everyone's life _was_ like mine. But here I'm the girl with the dead parents who doesn't have to worry about getting yelled at for getting an underage or failing class; I'm the girl who doesn't have to ask permission to go home with someone for break because there's no one to go to home to anyway. As much as I like it here, it's also a constant reminder of just how alone I am.”

“Hey.” Stopping in front of her, lifting her chin so she was looking him in the eye, Alaric pronounced, “You are not alone. We take care of each other, remember?”

“I don't want to be your responsibility.”

“That's not what you are.”

“Then what am I?”

“You're my best friend.” Elena saw the surprise register on Alaric's face at his declaration, but it was quickly replaced with something more certain as he repeated, “You're my best friend.”

It didn't take much to kiss him. One second she was looking at him and the next Elena rose on her toes, chastely brushing her lips against his; he tasted of sugar and cinnamon, his eyes going wide as she pulled away, but Elena didn't attempt to deepen the kiss. Instead she lowered her eyes, sighed, and said, “You're a good friend.”

The drive back to campus was silent, Elena keeping her eyes fixed on the passing landscape, horribly embarrassed and certain she ruined everything between her and Ric. As he parked the car, Elena mumbled her thanks for lunch, trying to rush away and forget what an idiot she was. She made it as far as the back bumper when Alaric caught her by the bicep, holding her in place with a shadowed expression on his face.

“Ric, I'm - “

His mouth was warm as it took hers, his hands gentle as they cupped her face; Elena whimpered as his tongue slipped past her lips, twisting her hands into the front of his shirt in an attempt to get closer. It had been so long since she was kissed like this, so long since she had been kissed _period_ , and Elena felt as if her body was awakening after a deep sleep.

Ric broke the kiss, resting his forehead against hers for a brief beat, before hoarsely whispering, “I'll see you next weekend, okay?”

“Okay.”

It wasn't until much later Elena realized this was the start of her relationship with Alaric Saltzman.

* * *

Ric wasn't sure if he would call what was happening between himself and Elena “dating.” Since that first Saturday spent together, he traveled to Richmond, at least, once a week for a meal or some kind of outing. A few times they went out with Maddie and Jake; Jake was a senior hoping to attend law school the following year, and Ric found that he genuinely liked the younger man, even agreeing to write him a recommendation for Duke. And, while he and Elena were as affectionate as any couple, they had yet to move beyond kissing. Once, when he came to pick her up for dinner, they had ended up on her bed, her wrap dress coming open, his shirt pulled off and thrown away before Maddie stumbled in, humiliating them both to the point they were too nervous to ever try anything in Elena's room again.

It wasn't that he didn't _want_ to have sex with Elena; some nights it was the only thing on his mind. But Alaric also knew that the moment he and Elena slept together was the point of no return, the moment when they'd both have to admit they were not just friends.

“So it's your birthday on Sunday,” Elena began one afternoon as Ric entered the Grill to pick up dinner, his phone trapped between his ear and his shoulder.

“I know. Damon's already threatening me with a strip club tour. I'm not sure if it's more for me or for him, but I doubt it'll matter.”

Elena laughed, and Ric couldn't help but smile in return. He saw Liz Forbes across the bar, raising her hand in greeting before signaling him over; Ric pointed to the phone before holding up a finger. 

“Well, if you have your heart set on Damon and strip clubs, maybe you won't want to hear my idea.”

“You should tell me anyway so I can compare.”

“If Damon can spare you, I thought we could do something special.”

“Special?”

“I made a reservation for dinner at this Italian place, and I...” Her voice trailed off, and Alaric was about to make a joke when she rushed on, “I got us a room at a hotel. I thought we could spend the night together, maybe have brunch on Sunday before you go back.”

Ric froze for a moment, the full implication of her words hitting him. Only after Elena said his name a few times did he manage, “Yeah, that sounds good.”

“It's alright if you don't want - “

“No, I _do_ ,” he stressed, dropping his voice so as not to be overheard. “Elena, you have no idea how much I want this. I just don't want you to feel like we have to do anything. If you want to take things slow - “

“I've known you for almost three years, and we've been together for months now.” Her voice became vulnerable as she asked, “We _are_ together, aren't we? I mean, I just thought - “

“We're together,” Ric stated firmly. Softening his voice, he murmured, “I can't wait to see you.”

Just as Ric ended the call, he nearly jumped out of his skin when Damon appeared beside him, asking, “Who can't you wait to see?”

“Jesus, Damon!”

Damon wasn't bothered by his distress, signaling the bartender to bring two bourbons. Alaric sipped it, moving down the bar towards Liz while Damon trailed after him. “You have a secret girlfriend or something?”

“It was my niece, dick.”

By Saturday, Ric felt like he was a teenager again, full of nervous energy. During the drive to Richmond, he flip-flopped between anticipation over a weekend with Elena and guilt for anticipating a weekend spent with Isobel's daughter, Jenna's niece, his former student.

 _She's a grown woman,_ he reminded himself, navigating his car into the lot near her dorm. _I'm not taking advantage of her. There's nothing wrong with this._

Ric wasn't sure how much he believed it, but if he wanted any kind of actual relationship with Elena, he'd need to start.

Elena stole his breath when she opened the door to her room. Her dark hair was in curls, pinned back on the sides and tumbling down her back; the blue dress she wore clung attractively to her curves, accenting the flare of her hips and swell of her breasts. The heels she wore put her nearly at eye level with him, and it took everything within Alaric not to pull her into his arms right then, to hell with the fact that Maddie and Jake were sitting on Maddie's bed.

“Have fun, you two!” Maddie called after them, making them both blush slightly.

It was easy to follow Elena's directions to the restaurant, a beautiful Italian place bathed in candlelight. Alaric found himself watching Elena as she blushed beneath the compliments from the waiter, encouraging Ric to order whatever he wanted as she was paying; after a moment, she looked at him in exasperation and asked, “What?”

“Nothing.” Glancing down at the menu before flicking his eyes up to look at her again, he amended, “You're really beautiful.”

She shrugged in a way which immediately brought Isobel to mind; she, too, had never been concerned with her beauty. “So are you.”

He wondered if she has always had Isobel's mannerisms or if he was only imagining them now, an unconscious ploy to dissuade himself from wanting her.

The hotel was gorgeous, too expensive for a college coed, and Alaric felt himself reaching for his wallet, wanting to cover the cost himself; Elena waved him away, getting the key cards for their room and insisting that he was not going to pay for anything on his birthday.

“You can make it up to me on _my_ birthday,” she assured him, leading him to the bank of elevators.

Her birthday was seven months away.

The large room had massive windows overlooking the city, and Alaric could admit this was easily the best birthday he had in the past five years. Elena smiled, encouraging him to sit while she popped into the bathroom. Ric felt arousal begin to course through his blood, but the guilt from earlier was now screaming in his head, a chant which he could not drown out: _Isobel's daughter, Jenna's niece, Damon's ex-girlfriend, Jeremy's sister, betrayal, betrayal, betrayal._

Elena stood in the doorway to the bathroom, limned in golden light from behind; she had taken down her hair, spilling around her face in a wild tumble, and, in place of her dress, was a set of black lace lingerie, just brief enough to hint at all the places he had yet to explore. For a moment pure confidence radiated from her; it was only when he said nothing that she seemed to falter, suddenly nineteen again.

Embarrassment filling her face, Elena began to cross her arms over her chest. Alaric moved forward, shaking his head. “Don't. You're...”

“Happy birthday, Ric,” she murmured, stretching up on her toes to softly brush her lips against his.

Later, as Elena slept in the curve of his shoulder, her hair spread across his chest, his limbs loose from pleasure and exhaustion, being with Elena didn't feel like betrayal.

It felt like home.

* * *

“So how exactly are you and Ric going to fake being just friends all summer?” Maddie asked as she watched Elena pack her belongings.

“It isn't going to be hard.”

Maddie laughed. “Are you kidding? Any time you and Ric get within three feet of each other, _I_ worry about getting pregnant. And that's completely discounting the sheer amount of eye fucking going on.”

Elena rolled her eyes. “You're ridiculous.”

“Why, because I'm raising legitimate concerns about your secret love affair?” Picking up a pair of Elena's jeans, holding them up to her body before throwing them on her bed, she admitted, “I don't get why it's such a big deal. I mean, what's the worst that could happen?”

 _Stefan and Damon murder him._ “It's just complicated.”

She shrugged. “Mystic Falls must be one bizarre place if two people dating is that big of a deal.”

“You have no idea.”

“Well, I'm going to miss you while I'm stuck at home. But just think how awesome things are going to be in the fall: you, me, and Jake in our very own apartment. It'll be very _Three's Company_ but without the horrendous fashions and helmet haircuts.”

“Believe me when I say I can't wait. I'm pretty sure every hotel in the area thinks I'm a hooker for as often as Ric and I are there. A full-size bed and privacy is half the bonus of the apartment.”

“The other half being me and Jake?”

“Of course.” Elena paused packing, smiling at her roommate. “I seriously don't know how I would've gotten through this year without you.”

Maddie beamed, leaping forward to hug her tightly. “Admit it: I'm way better than those high school friends of yours.”

“Sometimes,” Elena allowed.

It took Ric and Jake three trips to load up the car during which Elena tried to help and Maddie took it upon herself to supervise. When they were finished, Elena hugged Maddie and Jake before laughing as Maddie flung herself on Ric, squeezing him tightly and ordering him to make sure Elena didn't get too serious over the summer. 

“She's a trip,” Ric laughed as they drove out of Richmond, his right hand tangled with Elena's left.

Despite Maddie's concerns, it wasn't difficult to feign normalcy. With Jeremy at home for the summer, wanting to spend time with everyone before heading off to RISD in the fall, Ric remained at his loft with Elena staying at the house. Caroline and Bonnie returned from college, desperate to make up for the time they had lost during the year, each full of stories to share; Matt introduced everyone to his new girlfriend while Tyler returned from one of his road trips with new tattoos and a massive pitbull Damon mocked him endlessly over having. When Elena casually mentioned wanting to find a summer job to Sheriff Forbes, Liz came to her a few days later with the offer of answering phones at Meredith's new practice. 

“You want to work for Meredith?” Ric asked in disbelief one afternoon as they waited for Jeremy to meet them at the Grill for lunch.

Elena shrugged. “I used to help out at my dad's office all the time. It's better than waiting tables or taking Mrs. Lockwood up on working for _her_.”

“Yeah but Meredith - “

“Is this going to be weird for you?”

Ric's eyes widened in surprise. “Weird for me? No. Why would it be?”

“I don't know. That's why I'm asking you.”

He sighed before admitting, “Sometimes it bothers me how small this town is.”

“Well, as long as you live here, you're going to have to get used to it. Besides, Liz just thinks she's doing me a favor, and I don't have a problem with Meredith.”

“Then I don't have a problem either.”

It wasn't a glamorous job, answering phones, making appointments, and trying to soothe irritated patients who thought their waits were too long. But, for every person who yelled at her for the wait or for the temperature of the waiting room, three people told her how much they missed her father, how much they appreciated him as their doctor, how he had delivered their child or brought their parent back from the brink. There were days Elena left work aching for her father, and, on those days, she found herself visiting the cemetery, leaving flowers for her parents, for John, for Jenna.

The week before Jeremy was to leave for RISD and she was to return to Richmond, she and Ric managed to sneak in an interlude at his loft. Afterward, as they lied in his bed, skin slick with sweat which stuck to the sheets, Elena softly revealed, “I think I'm going to change my major.”

Carding his fingers through her hair, Ric mock-pleaded, “Please tell me you weren't thinking about that the entire time.”

She chuckled, shaking her head and pressing a kiss to his chest. “No, you definitely had my full attention. It's just something I've been thinking about the last few weeks.”

“So if you're not going to be an English teacher, what are you going to be?”

“A doctor.”

Shifting so he can look at her, he repeated, “A doctor.”

“Damon always says I want to save people. At least this way, I really could.” Holding him tighter, snuggling closer to his body, she asked, “Do you think I'm stupid?”

“No.” Ric kissed the crown of her head. “I think Mystic Falls would be lucky to have another Dr. Gilbert.”

Elena's eyes welled with tears.

That was the first night Elena told Alaric she loved him.

* * *

His mother called him the day after Thanksgiving and began her annual guilt trip. It had been five years since he had returned home to Boston, five years since the epic blowout between him and his father; though Ric made sure to always send birthday cards to his mother and sisters, to send presents to his nieces and nephews, he had not ventured above the Mason-Dixon line and did not plan to do so if he could help it.

“Alaric James, this is getting ridiculous,” Christine Saltzman chastised, voice heavy with exhaustion and frustration. 

“I got middle named,” he recounted for Elena, happily ensconced in their bed in Elena's apartment.

Elena, who was standing in front of her dresser, pulling her hair up into a messy bun, turned to face him and pronounced, “I think you _should_ go.”

“What?”

Crawling onto the bed, perching on her knees beside him, Elena said, “Just hear me out. I obviously don't know your family, but they're the only family you get. And maybe this is just the orphaned kid in me saying this, but you never know when they're not going to be there anymore. Plus, if you like your mom and your sisters, isn't it just punishing them and yourself for whatever fight you had with your dad?”

“You don't know my dad. He still thinks I'm a kid and goes out of his way to criticize every single thing I've ever done. And it wasn't just a fight; we came to blows.”

“Why?”

Neither of them directly referenced the women who had come before her; it wasn't a conscious choice but rather a move designed to keep the potential awkwardness of their relationship at bay. But there was no answer which will not invoke the great unspeakable between them, and so Alaric rushed into the breach.

“Isobel,” was all he said before realization dawned on Elena's face.

“Oh.”

“Yeah.”

A heavy silence settled over them for several awkward beats. Finally Elena volunteered, “I could come with you.”

“What?”

Keeping her eyes focused on the comforter, her hands twisting the bottom of her shirt, she elaborated, “Well, Jer is spending Christmas at school taking some winter session. I could tell everyone I was going home with Maddie, and instead I could go to Boston with you, be your back-up.” When he didn't say anything right away, she lamely added, “It was just an idea.”

Tugging her to his chest, Ric brushed a kiss against her temple. “If you really want to meet them, I'll book the tickets.”

He began to mentally prepare himself for the endless cradle robbing jokes.

His mother and youngest sister Sara met them at Logan; Christine held him tightly against her, clucking over how different he looked while Sara made a quip about him gaining weight. Both Saltzman women looked surprised by Elena's presence, graciously greeting her; while they walked to baggage claim, Christine took her by the arm to tell her all about the family while Sara mumbled under her breath, “Kind of young, isn't she?”

The sixteen year divide between him and Elena never felt larger than it did beneath his family's judgmental gazes.

Tenley and Harper, his older sisters, were waiting at the house with their families; he did not miss the looks they exchanged with Sara even as they welcomed Elena. His brothers-in-law were sequestered in the living room watching a football game, shouting various greetings without getting up; his teenaged nephews stopped long enough to blatantly check out Elena before disappearing, his young nieces climbing on him without restraint.

His father glowered from behind them all; neither he nor Ric made any motion to greet the other.

Though having recently turned 70, James Saltzman was still a physically intimidating man. He was as tall as Alaric, broad through the shoulders with a barrel chest. Ric knew from conversations with his mother that James retired from his law practice a few years earlier, undoubtedly still cursing Alaric for refusing to go along with the plan for Ric to take it over; it was just the latest in a long line of disappointments.

“Jim, come say hello,” Christine urged, nudging Alaric in the back to move him forward.

The handshake he exchanged with his father was perfunctory, both grunting some approximation of hello. It wasn't until James's eyes fell on Elena that Alaric felt something other than resignation towards his father; he could feel his temper on edge, just waiting for his father to say something unkind to Elena or make some smart remark.

“And who's this?”

Elena's smile was so genuine, so without guile, Alaric couldn't help but crack a smile as well. “I'm Elena Gilbert, Mr. Saltzman. It's so nice to meet you.”

“Elena Gilbert,” James echoed, looking her over head to toe. “Nice to meet you too.”

His nieces loved Elena, especially five-year-old Peyton; within only hours of their arrival, Peyton had declared Elena to be her new best friend, following her around like a shadow, petting her hair as if she was some exotic animal, begging Elena to play dolls with her. Ric and Harper both tried to rescue Elena, but Elena insisted it was fine. As Elena sat cross-legged on the floor, allowing Peyton and her cousins to play with her hair with less-than-gentle hands, Harper leaned close to Ric and confided, “I like her.”

It was a common refrain that week. Despite the jokes about their age difference and Sara taking to calling him “Mary Kay Letourneau,” his sisters seemed to genuinely like Elena. Even Tenley, who had been the most outspoken critic of every girl he had ever brought home, gave her cool consent, admitting that Elena “had a good head on her shoulders, even if she is too young for you.” One afternoon he returned from the store, having been given a list by his mother with firm orders not to come back without everything on it, to find Christine and Elena on a couch in the living room pouring over old photo albums. He made a face, giving some protest over the embarrassing snaps, but Elena shushed him, pointing out that he had already seen all of _her_ humiliating school pictures.

She stopped smiling when they stumbled into photos from his wedding to Isobel. Christine quickly shut the album, declaring she needed to start making cookies, pulling Elena along after her. Ric wanted to explain, to say something which would make her feel better, but he didn't know what; it wasn't until that night, as they slipped into bed, he tried to broach the topic.

“Elena, about the photos...”

She smiled weakly, kissing the hinge of his jaw. “She existed, Ric. She was your wife, and they knew her. It doesn't bother me.”

“It doesn't?”

Shifting onto her side so she could look him in the eye, Elena sighed, “I had to come to terms with Isobel a long time ago. You married her and you loved her, and if you hadn't loved her, you never would have come to Mystic Falls and we never would have met. But she's also my birth mom, and I know we both try not to think about that.”

“But?”

She sighed. “But today Sara said I was a lot friendlier than Isobel, and I realized I'm being compared to her. And I guess I just started to wonder if...well...”

“I don't,” he said, knowing what fear she never wanted to put into words. Pulling her tight against his chest, Ric tilted her head back, catching her lips. “I only ever see you.”

It wasn't wholly true; there were times when she said or did something, and all he could see was Isobel. 

Elena didn't need to know that.

On their last night in Boston, Alaric came downstairs to find James standing in the archway of the living room, just watching. Sidling up beside him, Alaric saw what had captured his father's attention: Elena and Peyton, snuggled together on the couch reading a book.

“I know you do the exact opposite of everything I ever tell you,” James began, his gruff voice soft so as not to disturb Elena and Peyton, “but I'd hang on to that girl. She's something special.”

It was the highest praise James Saltzman ever gave a single choice Alaric made.

That night, as he and Elena made love as quietly as they could, Alaric breathed against her lips, “I want to be with you forever.”

“Okay,” Elena managed before sinking her teeth into his shoulder to muffle her cries.

This would be the closest they ever got to a formal engagement.

* * *

“You have a lot of vacation days saved up, right?” 

Alaric looked at her in confusion, ignoring the speech Carol Lockwood was giving on stage in praise of the Founders' Council's fund raising. “Why?”

“Do you remember my friend Keri? Well, she and her fiance are doing the whole destination wedding thing in Jamaica over spring break. And since next year everything's going to be crazy with MCATs and applications, I thought we could go, have ourselves a nice, little vacation.” When Ric's face gave away nothing, she added, “In paradise.” Leaning closer, smiling mischievously, she stressed, “Thousands of miles away from everyone who knows us and where string bikinis are considered appropriate attire.”

His face finally broke into a grin. “A compelling argument.”

“It might be our last chance to have a real break until I'm, like, thirty. Senior year, four years of med school, interning, residency...This could be our last hurrah.”

“My curse for loving a smart girl, I suppose,” he mock-lamented.

Nudging him with her shoulder, she wheedled, “Don't make me go alone. Who knows what trouble Maddie and I will get into if left to our own devices? I mean, open bars, horny spring breakers, a wedding...”

“And where I would tell everyone I'm going?”

Elena shrugged. “Visiting your parents, visiting your sisters, visiting old friends. Ooh! Peyton's birthday is that week. You could say you went out to stay with Harper.”

She liked the way his face seemed to melt with affection. “You remember Peyton's birthday?”

“Of course. She's going to be - “ Elena caught herself, unsure if she should finish her sentence the way she had intended. Finally she settled on, “She's kind of my niece too.”

She wasn't sure if Ric knew that Peyton called her “Aunt Elena;” she was certain he didn't know it was Harper who started to refer to her as such.

“Jamaica,” Ric mused, finding her hand beneath the table, squeezing it lightly. “I could think of worse things than a week on a beach with you.”

When they had first started dating, Elena knew it bothered Ric to be around her college friends; he felt the age difference with them more acutely than he did with Bonnie or Caroline, who he considered to be his friends as well. With the exceptions of Maddie and Jake, Elena tried to limit his contact with the others in the first year, not wanting to make him uncomfortable. Now, halfway through her junior year, Ric no longer seemed bothered by it; as they boarded the plane to Jamaica, Ric and Maddie even switched seats so that he and Jake could discuss March Madness.

 _We're a normal couple going on vacation with our friends_ , Elena realized, a sense of peace stealing over her as Maddie chattered on about Keri's wedding. _We're normal._

Elena gasped when she entered their room, Ric pressing a tip into the man helping them with their bags, a large grin stretched across his face. This was nothing like the room she had booked for them two months earlier when he first agreed to the trip; this was a suite, complete with a balcony overlooking the ocean, rose petals on the bed, and a bucket of champagne chilling nearby.

“What - “

Ric wrapped his arms around her middle, pressing a warm kiss to her neck. “Just because it's Keri's wedding doesn't mean we can't have a honeymoon of our own.”

Six days later, when her body was pliant from alcohol and sex, Ric wrapped around in a way which made her feel perfectly safe, Elena sighed, “This has been the best week of my life.”

Ric smiled lazily, tucking a stray curl behind her ear. “Just wait until our actual honeymoon.”

Elena was drunk on pure happiness as they made it back to Virginia, sleeping on Ric's shoulder and laughing as Maddie recounted a particularly hilarious story of Jake's adventures in snorkeling. It wasn't until they arrived back at the apartment, Ric collapsing dramatically on her bed while she checked her email that Elena's bubble burst.

According to Facebook, “Elena Rose” had been tagged in 93 pictures over the past week, 80% of which featured her and Ric holding hands, kissing, dancing, or engaged in otherwise non-platonic behaviors. One was even captioned, _”They're next!”_

Quickly plugging her phone into its charger, Elena turned on the phone to find she had 9 voice mails and 53 texts, the majority of which were from Jeremy, Caroline, and Bonnie, all asking in various incarnations, _What the hell is going on?_

“Oh my god,” she groaned, sinking into her desk chair, chest tightening with anxiety.

“What? What's wrong?”

“Everyone knows.” Tears beginning to course down her cheeks, she repeated, “Everyone knows.”

Ric got off of the bed, coming over to the computer. He swore under his breath before bending down in front of her, wiping at her cheeks. “Hey, hey, this isn't the end of the world. We were going to tell everyone soon anyway.”

“But not on Facebook! We were going to tell Jeremy together and then everyone else. I didn't want them to find out because someone posted a picture of us kissing in a pool!”

“Elena - “

“And Damon's going to murder you! Or me! Or half the fucking town because he's Damon and - “

“ _Elena!_ ” Clasping her face between his palms, Alaric declared, “This doesn't change anything. We're going to be fine.”

He sounded so certain, Elena _wanted_ to believe him; she wanted to believe the insertion of the real world into the world they created would not upset anything, but Elena wasn't stupid. The relative ease of their relationship existed _because_ the people who would hate it so vehemently didn't know. By now, all of Mystic Falls knew they were sleeping together and _everyone_ was going to have an opinion.

“We should call Jer.”

Ric nodded solemnly. “Yeah, okay.”

Jeremy was quiet for a long time, a silence Elena desperately tried to fill with apologies and explanations. Ric clasped her hand tightly as she became more and more emotional, but he didn't say a word, not until Jeremy asked, “Is he there with you now?”

“Yeah, Jer, I'm here.”

Her brother sighed heavily before snapping, “You both lied to me for years! I'm not a kid; you could have just told me.”

“We didn't want to make things weird - “

“Well, you telling me would have been a hell of a lot less weird than getting on Facebook and seeing you two cuddling in a fucking hammock.” Jeremy sighed heavily. “Look, I don't care if you guys are together. I mean, it's a little weird but I'll get over it. Just don't lie to me anymore, okay?”

“Okay,” they easily agreed, Elena sagging against Ric's shoulder.

In the end, beyond a few scandalized comments from Carol Lockwood and Liz Forbes and one delightfully awkward conversation with Caroline in which she demanded to know how Ric was in bed, the news was met with fairly little fanfare.

Ric gave her the news Damon had left town without a word, an action which told Elena just how badly he was taking the news.

They wouldn't see Damon Salvatore again for five years.

* * *

“So now that you're a doctor, that means you can write prescriptions, right?”

Alaric laughed at Maddie's question, taking a sip of his bourbon as Elena giggled, half giddy on champagne. Jake rolled his eyes, patting his wife's hand as he signaled the waiter for another round of drinks, and, for a moment, Ric couldn't believe how long it had been since he first met these two. The sharp tongued, wild-haired party girl he first left Elena with eight years earlier had transformed into a sleek lobbyist who made more money in a month than Ric made in a year; it had been Maddie's idea to celebrate Elena's med school graduation with a weekend spent in DC with her and Jake.

“Yes, I want to start my illustrious medical career by becoming your dealer.”

“It's not dealing if it's from a doctor. If it was, half of this city would be under indictment.” 

“Well, unless you have a legitimate medical issue, my prescription pad will be off-limits.”

Maddie sighed. “Oh, 'Lena, a good girl to the core.” Taking a bite of a dessert Alaric was certain cost the same as his car payment, she asked, “So when are you two finally going to take the plunge?”

“Maddie,” Jake hissed.

“What? It's just a question, and we're all friends here.” Waving her fork as if it was a pointer, she ticked off, “You've been together as long as we have, and Elena always said you were going to wait until she graduated, which she's now done. Have you guys given it any thought?”

Ric watched as Elena shifted uncomfortably. Though they had mentioned getting married from time to time, there had never been any serious conversation about it; he assumed, if and when they married, it would happen the way the rest of their relationship did: haphazardly without planning. A few times he thought about officially asking her, buying a ring and going on one knee the way he had with Isobel, but Elena never pushed the issue, never gave any kind of indication she wanted or needed that. It wasn't until this moment he wondered if Elena didn't want it at all.

He missed Elena's answer; by the time he tuned back into the conversation, Elena was discussing her internship at Mystic Falls Hospital. It wouldn't be until they were driving back to Mystic Falls that he asked, “Do you want to get married?”

Elena looked at him, caution in her eyes, before returning her gaze to the window. “I don't think we should have this conversation right now.”

There was something in her tone which angered him. “No, I want to have it now.”

Elena exhaled sharply, shaking her head. “Ric, I really don't - “

“If you don't want to marry me, you can just say it.” Tightening his grip on the steering wheel, steeling himself for whatever came next, he declared, “I can take it.”

She was quiet so long, Alaric thought she was giving him the silent treatment; he was preparing to snap when Elena softly said, “You still have the wedding ring Isobel gave you.”

“What?”

“You still keep your wedding ring in the empty aspirin bottle in the dresser.” Her voice wavered as she rushed on. “There's an entire box of her things in the attic. You still have pictures of her on your computer.”

“Elena - “

“You can't marry me when you're still married to her.” A tear rolled down her cheek, which she batted at in embarrassment. “And I think you're always going to be married to her.”

He didn't think; the moment he saw the exit for the rest stop, Ric took it, pulling into the parking lot, ignoring the families who were milling around the grass and building. Jerking open his door, he came around the front of the car as Elena blinked at him in confusion and shock, shaking her head as he opened her door, reached across to unfasten her seat belt, and urged her out of the car.

“Alaric, what the hell - “

It was pure instinct which made him drop to one knee; he tried not to think about the only other time he had ever done this. He and Isobel had been twenty-one then, five years younger than Elena was now, and he, at least, had been infinitely more innocent. The man who proposed to Isobel Flemming, who _married_ Isobel Flemming didn't exist anymore. _Isobel Flemming_ didn't exist anymore. 

“I love you. I know we don't say it a lot, but I do. I want to spend the rest of my life with you, Elena. And if you don't want a ceremony or a ring or even to do it at all, that's fine, but don't doubt this is what I want.” When Elena said nothing, he got to his feet, clasping her trembling hands against his chest. “I keep the ring because it reminds me not to be blind. I keep the pictures because it wasn't all bad, and she's my past the way Stefan or Damon is yours. But you are the only person I want, and no one could ever change that.”

She leaned forward, resting her forehead against his. “I'm not going to change my name.”

“I can live with that.”

They married in October in a small ceremony with only friends and family present. Elena wore her mother's wedding gown, Jeremy walked her down the aisle, and, after a few too many, Caroline and Maddie lead the guests in a rousing rendition of “We Are Family” while Tyler beatboxed behind them.

Ric was watching Elena and his father dance, both laughing about something, when Damon entered the hall. He felt a moment's fear as Damon cross towards him, looking exactly as he had the last time Ric saw him. The last thing he expected was for Damon to extend his hand, which he took.

“Congratulations,” Damon offered.

“Thank you.”

“I didn't get you a gift.”

Alaric wasn't certain Damon would ever fully forgive him for falling in love with Elena, but, on his wedding day, Alaric didn't care. All that mattered was he had married the woman he loved and his best friend had returned.

Later he would find out that Damon had sex with Sara in the bathroom; he punched him in the face, Damon shrugged, and they were even.

* * *

Her first pregnancy was a complete accident. Too much wine at the Founders' Kick-Off party, a missed pill, and a husband who had a fetish for taking off her pretty gowns added up to a baby neither of them expected.

Elena loved children; it was why her specialty was pediatrics. She adored Ric's nieces and nephews, doted on Matt's little boy, and spoiled Jeremy's son to the point that her brother and sister-in-law continuously begged her to _stop_ sending presents. But, in the decade she and Ric spent together, they never seriously discussed having children. Between med school, internship, and residency, she would not be done until she was nearly thirty; establishing a practice would take time and money. Ric never pushed the issue; he never hinted about turning the spare rooms into nurseries or got “baby lust,” as Maddie so mockingly referred to Jake's obsession with having a son. 

The closest they ever came to discussing having children was after Jeremy's son Grayson was born. Elena volunteered to watch him while Jeremy and Libby went out to dinner, and, while she rocked him to sleep, Ric watched from the doorway, a soft smile on his face.

“What?” she asked, inhaling the sweet scent of Grayson's head.

“You ever think about us having one?”

“Of course.” Carefully setting her nephew into the crib, she teased, “You imagining a little boy of your own?”

“I wouldn't mind a girl.”

Staring down into Grayson's peaceful face, she murmured, “But what if she looks like me?”

Alaric didn't say anything; he never brought it up again.

The logical, medically trained portion of her brain told her she was only eight weeks pregnant, that what was happening inside her womb was nothing more than a clump of cells; to terminate it would be simple. Immediately she felt a rush of shame for even considering it, for thinking of what she and Alaric created as an inconvenience, a hindrance to the career she was working so hard to build. And, if she were truly honest, it wasn't the time off of work which was making her wonder if parenthood was a good idea.

Half of her blood might be Gilbert, but the other half was Petrova, cursed blood which could manifest itself at any time to form another girl who was a carbon copy of Tatia Petrova.

“It's your choice,” Alaric said when she finally told him, laying out her concerns: practical, financial, logical, supernatural. 

“That's all you have to say?”

Ric sighed, rubbing at his face. “What do you want me to say?”

“Your opinion.” Setting the pregnancy test she had been clenching desperately in her hand on the coffee table, Elena felt her chest tightening. “Do you not care - “

“Of course I care,” he cut in, looking deeply offended. “But what do you want me to say? I'm not going to browbeat you into having a baby you don't want. What good would that do any of us?”

“But what do you _want_?”

Leaning forward, resting his elbows on his knees, he exhaled slowly; she could tell he was trying to carefully choose his words. “You know I support your career; you've worked hard and I wouldn't want to see that sidetracked. But I also don't want to be the guy who gets the senior citizen discount when he takes his kid to kindergarten. I assumed you didn't want kids, so I wasn't concerned.”

Irritated, she snapped, “If you _do_ want kids, why have you never brought it up?”

“Because I never thought I'd have kids!” Getting to his feet, Alaric paced for a moment before explaining, “Isobel made it clear from the start that we wouldn't be having kids. When we got together, you were so young, I knew it wasn't going to come up for a long time, and, when it didn't, I just assumed you didn't want kids either.” He finally stopped pacing and looked at her. “I want children. I don't care if we have one or if we have so many, we get our own reality show. But if you don't want them and are only doing it for me, I'd rather not bring a kid into that.”

They didn't get to finish the argument then; she was called into the hospital and Ric waved his hand as if exhausted with her. Elena couldn't stop thinking of him, of the cells in her uterus making their way towards becoming their child, of Grayson and Miranda Gilbert, of John Gilbert, of Isobel Flemming. By the time she got home, feet aching and smelling of the hospital, Elena felt like the girl who had woken up to find her parents died: confused, lost, set adrift in the sea with no way of getting back to shore.

She stood beneath the shower's spray, lifting her face with her eyes shut tight, letting the salt of her tears be washed away. The water was so hot, it reddened her skin, too sensitive to touch, but she didn't adjust it; she had never quite mastered avoiding that which burned her.

The cool air against her back brought her back to herself; a moment later Ric's arms slid around her middle, cradling her against his chest, his lips finding the spot on her shoulder which always made her shiver. She let her head drop back against him, staring up into the familiar kindness of his eyes.

“I'll love you no matter what,” he declared, his hands splayed over her middle. “If our family is only ever us, I can live with that.”

“What if she looks like me?”

For a moment, Elena thought her whisper was drowned by the water, disappearing into the drain. And then Ric said, “Then she'll be the most beautiful baby ever born.”

Emma entered the world seven months later, screaming at the indignity of it all, bald as a cue ball with Ric's eyes. She was healthy and happy, and, when Elena held her daughter against her breast, she could not imagine how Isobel was ever able to give away her baby. Of course, she never shared that thought with anyone; she kept it locked away deep inside herself, the place she kept all the things which belonged in the past.

For all of his talk about not caring whether or not they ever had children, Ric blossomed with fatherhood. If Emma started to fuss, he was already on his feet; if she laughed, he laughed along with her. Some night Elena came home from the hospital and felt like an outsider, unneeded, _unwanted_ by their daughter. She confessed it to Ric once, embarrassed and more petulant than a grown woman should be, and he assured her that once she was able to open a practice, she would have more time to spend with Emma.

With the end of her residency came another daughter. Nora was nothing like her big sister: dark haired, dark eyed, unable to pacify. Whereas Emma could be quieted with little effort, the definition of a perfect baby, Nora could rage for hours, sleeping only in 20 minute increments when she was in her swing, shrieking like a banshee if ever set down. If Elena had felt disconnected with Emma, she felt absolutely out of her depth with Nora.

Nora was two-months-old, screeching as if the hounds of hell were after her in Elena's arms; Ric had taken Emma to her doctor's appointment, and Elena stared down at her daughter, frustration and inadequacy finally bursting in her chest.

“What do you want?!” she shouted in Nora's face. “Just tell me what you want!”

Nora stopped shrieking for a moment, her eyes wide, startled, and wet, and Elena began to cry, sobbing nearly as hard as her baby as she apologized. Ric found them both crying when he returned home with a chattering Emma. Immediately he scooped Nora from Elena's arms, setting her in the swing and guaranteeing them 20 quiet minutes; once Emma was happily watching a movie, Ric took Elena into his arms and allowed her to sob against his chest.

“What can I do?”

The words out of her mouth weren't planned, but it was the only thing Elena could think of at that moment. “I just want my mom.”

Christine Saltzman arrived the next night, and with her came peace. While Ric kept Emma happy and occupied, Christine showed Elena how to tightly swaddle Nora, which was a surefire way to keep the baby content, how to make gripe water; she made dinners and did laundry, and Elena could not put into words how grateful she was for her mother-in-law.

“I'll never be able to thank you,” she said the night before Christine was to return to Boston.

Christine smiled, patting Nora's diapered butt as she rocked her towards sleep. “You don't have to thank me. You're family; it's what we do.”

“I know, but - “ The tears were sudden and fierce, coursing down her cheeks before Elena could catch them. “I don't think I'm very good at being a mom. I try, but I feel like I'm letting everyone down. If it wasn't for Ric, the girls - “

Christine reached over, grasping Elena's hand and squeezing it tightly. “You are doing _fine_ , sweetheart. No one gets it right 100% of the time. Emma is a wonderful little girl, and Nora will be too. This is just the rough patch. You'll be okay.”

Everyone – Ric, Damon, Stefan, Jeremy, Bonnie, Caroline, Maddie – had told her the same thing since Nora's birth.

It just sounded different coming from a mother.

* * *

His 50th birthday loomed on the horizon, and Ric felt its approach acutely. Aging didn't usually bother him; having vampires for friends reminded him what a gift it was to have that ability. But while age never seemed important before, now it seemed to consume his thoughts.

He was going to be 50; his wife had just turned 34. His three daughters were all under the age of 7. Sometimes he caught himself staring at family photos, especially the portrait which hung in the living room, and he couldn't help but wonder what people thought when they saw him with his family.

“They think I'm your bimbo second wife, and the girls are my guarantees on the Saltzman family fortune,” Elena quipped when he brought it up one evening, smirking mischievously.

“That's ridiculous.”

“Of course it's ridiculous; I make _way_ more money than you do.” She must have seen his frown because she stopped packing Emma's lunch, coming around the island and perching on his knee. Taking his face between her palms, she pronounced, “I don't care what anyone else thinks of us, and you shouldn't either. Emma, Nora, and Hannah: those are the only people's whose opinions should matter.”

But as his birthday approached, Alaric found himself thinking more and more about life and death, specifically how he was going to leave Elena a widow some day.

When she was pregnant with Emma, Ric had Tenley draw up wills for them; in the event of their mutual deaths, Jeremy and his wife would take custody of the girls just as, if something happened to them, he and Elena would take in their boys. His pension would go to Elena, and there would be social security for the girls, but Ric knew Elena didn't need either to sustain their lifestyle; Elena was incredibly frugal, and, even if she decided to never work another day in her life, the Gilbert trust would keep them living happily. He knew he would not leave Elena wanting.

Only Damon knew of his thoughts, which made the vampire scoff.

“You're being ridiculous,” Damon declared, pouring them each a bourbon. “You're perfectly healthy, and you look the same as you did twenty years ago. And, as an added incentive, if you do decide to die early, know that I'm going to try to comfort Elena with my dick.” Tossing back his drink, he added, “And do you really want your daughters calling me daddy?”

He punched him; it was their way.

“Let's do something special for your birthday,” Elena suggested a week before the day in question when they met for lunch. With her dark hair gathered in a high ponytail, gloss shining on her lips, she looked like a teenager; only the white coat she wore hinted at her true age.

“How special?”

“The kind of special where Caroline stays with the girls and we engage in decidedly non-family friendly activities.” Her smile was pure mischief. “What do you say?”

“You sure you want to do that with an old man?”

Elena scowled, throwing a crouton at him. “Just make sure your old bones are ready Friday night because Caroline has already planned about a thousand things to do with the girls, and Emma will kill you if she doesn't get to see her favorite aunt.”

“Something special” turned out to be a presidential suite in a hotel Maddie recommended, complete with a jacuzzi on the balcony. He watched with a hint of awe as Elena began the transformation from Dr. Gilbert, pediatrician, mother of three, and active member of just about every Mystic Falls committee, into the woman he fell in love with fifteen years earlier. 

Toeing off her shoes, Elena tugged the elastic band from her hair, shaking it out even as she wiggled free of her clothing. In nothing but her bra and panties, she crossed to the balcony, turning on the jets of the jacuzzi before turning to face him. Reaching behind her, she released the clasp of bra, dropping it onto the cement.

“You better get those clothes off or else I'm going to start without you.”

Later, when they are dozing in bed, sweat slicked and satisfied, Elena presses her lips to his Adam's apple before whispering, “Can I tell you something really terrible?”

“What?”

“Sometimes I miss when it was just us, when we could do stuff like whenever we wanted and didn't have to worry about Emma walking in on us and thinking you're murdering me.”

He couldn't help but laugh; Emma's late-night interruption of a particularly ardent session had traumatized both mother and daughter to the point that neither woman could look the other in the eye for nearly a month, especially once Emma told her first-grade class she had caught her parents “trying to make a baby.”

“Sometimes I miss it too,” he confessed. 

She was still and silent against his chest for so long, Alaric thought she was sleeping. His own eyes were drifting shut when she murmured, “Still feel too old for me?”

Ric opened his eyes, looking down at her with a furrowed brow. “Damon told you?”

Elena smiled before tilting her face up to look at him. “Of course he did. Damon tells me everything.”

The old, familiar twitch of jealousy tugged at his heart, but Alaric pushed it down for the moment. “I just...I don't ever want to hold you back.”

“Hold me back?” Pushing up into a sitting position, Elena flung her leg over his body, sitting low on his stomach; she leaned forward, bracing her hands on his shoulders and gazing unwaveringly into his eyes. “I'm only going to say this once, so you'd better listen. I don't regret any part of my life: not you, not what we've built together, certainly not our girls. Whether we have the next forty years together or no time left at all, there's nothing that could happen which would change my mind.” 

Reaching up, brushing her hair away from her face, he sighed, “I love you.”

Settling down against his chest, she added, “Besides, you don't have time to feel old.”

“I don't?”

“Nope.”

“Why's that?” 

“Because we're going to have another baby in six months.”

He was the oldest father on the maternity floor when Jonathan James Saltzman entered the world.

Ric didn't even notice.

* * *

It was Caroline's idea to rent a beach house for two weeks in the Outer Banks of North Carolina. Elena agreed, thinking it would be a nice change of pace from summers spent at the lake house, and, before anyone knew it, Caroline had managed to secure the largest beach house Elena ever saw, large enough to accommodate all of them and their children.

When Alaric pulled into the drive, Emma and Nora bickering in the first row of seats, Hannah and JJ both loudly proclaiming they had to pee, Elena was ready to rip her hair out. And then there was Caroline waving from one of the decks, and Elena couldn't help but laugh.

Jeremy arrived with his two boys shortly after they did; Elena disliked the beard he had grown following his divorce, but, unlike the last time she had seen him, he appeared to be doing much better. Her nephews were nearly as tall as she was now, pressing kisses against her cheek before disappearing with Matt's son and Emma; Nora peeled off with Matt's daughter and Bonnie's daughter while JJ and Hannah went off in search of Matt's younger son. By the time Maddie, Jake, and their sons arrived, Tyler, Damon, and Stefan had all found their way to the house, Damon grilling on the top deck while Tyler mixed drinks.

“God damn, do you got good taste!” Maddie declared as she hugged Caroline tightly, shouting after her sons to behave themselves. “And you have got to tell me how you keep your skin so smooth. Botox?”

Damon's laughter earned him elbows from both Elena and Bonnie.

The third night, Elena couldn't sleep. Leaving Ric slumbering peacefully, she slipped down two flights of stairs to the kitchen with the intention of getting a glass of water when she spotted movement on the deck. Seeing it was Stefan and Damon, Elena padded across the thick carpet, sliding open the glass door and stepping into the cool night air. Stefan acknowledged her first, smiling and brushing his hand against hers as she sank down beside him on the swing; though their relationship had ended so long ago, Elena still found Stefan to be one of the few people in the world she didn't need words to communicate with, who knew what she was thinking even before she did. She knew Ric always worried about Damon, but, while Elena still harbored a great deal of love for the older Salvatore, it was always Stefan who knew her heart.

Damon was focused on something in the distance on the beach, and, after a few minutes, she asked, “What are you doing?”

“Making sure that lacrosse playing punk doesn't try anything,” Damon grunted, his handsome face settling into a deeper frown.

“What is he talking about?”

“It's eleven o'clock, Elena Gilbert,” Stefan replied, a hint of a smile on his lips. “Do you know where your children are?”

Instantly on her feet, Elena moved to stand beside Damon at the railing, squinting through the darkness; near the water's edge she could make out two teenagers sitting in the sand. Judging by the breadth of the boy's shoulders and Damon's comment, Elena instantly deduced him to be Maddie's oldest son, the one who had recently graduated from his ritzy private school and was headed to Georgetown in the fall. Wind scattered the dark hair of the girl sitting beside him, and it wasn't until the girl shook it back in a too familiar motion that Elena recognized her.

“Is that _Nora_?”

Damon nodded. “I heard them sneak out earlier.”

“What the hell is she doing out here with him?!”

If anything, Damon's scowl deepened even further. “They're just talking so far, but that dick keeps giving her every line there is. She hasn't fallen for any of them so far, but she's been flirting up a storm with him and both of Matt's boys, which is pissing off Emma.”

“How do you know so much of what's going on with my daughters?”

“Have you actually looked at your daughters lately? Someone needs to be watching them; everything with a dick in a fifty-mile radius is panting after them.”

She _had_ noticed, especially with Nora. While Emma was pretty, she was also painfully shy around people she didn't know; she did not like to draw attention to herself, didn't like make to a spectacle. Elena never had to worry about what Emma would choose to wear to school, what way she'd style her golden brown hair; Emma was dependable, responsible, very much like Elena and Alaric in that way.

Nora was pure Petrova, and it terrified Elena. One night Nora had gone to bed as their little tomboy, dirty-faced and sports obsessed, and the next morning awoke as a knock-out with a body that could stop traffic. Though barely fourteen, she was already taller than Elena, all long legs and soft curves; the dark curls she once kept tightly bound now flowed over her shoulders, and she was constantly testing her boundaries: clothes which were too revealing, streaking her hair hot pink, piercing her nose with a safety pin. Boys were just the latest challenge. Elena remembered what it was like to suddenly realize men thought she was beautiful, the heady rush, the way it could make you drunk with the power of it, but, unlike Nora, the fascination had quickly tapered away once she started dating Matt. 

Though neither she nor Ric acknowledged it, Nora reminded them of Katherine, and Elena didn't think it was a coincidence that the daughter who looked the most like her was the one who seemed to be full of Petrova fire.

Emma was the girl who ran from danger; Nora was the one who barreled straight into it.

“I worry about what's going to get herself into.”

“Don't.” Damon's eyes burned like fire in the moonlight. “I'll make sure she's safe.”

Of all of her children, Damon was always closest to Nora; Elena tried not to consider the implications of what that meant that night. She didn't want to see anything untoward in Damon's protectiveness; Elena knew Damon was capable of great kindness when he wished it, and, from the time Nora was an infant, Damon seemed to have a strange kinship with her.

Stefan came to stand beside them, and, for a moment, Elena felt seventeen again, a Salvatore on each arm standing sentry. Except, of course, that she _wasn't_ seventeen anymore; she was 44-years-old. Her eyesight was hopeless without her glasses, there was silver winding its way through her hair, and carrying four children had changed her body irrevocably; her hips were wider, there was a softness in her middle from stretching to accommodate her children, her breasts were no longer high and firm. Elena knew she was still considered attractive, was still a beautiful woman, but she wasn't the woman Stefan and Damon Salvatore fell in love with, wasn't a perfect replica of Tatia Petrova or Katherine Pierce any longer.

On the beach, Nora laughed, and, for a moment, Elena wondered what her life would have been like if she had taken up either Salvatore on their offer to turn her.

“You made the right choice,” Stefan said, tucking a lock of hair behind her ear, reading her mind as he always had.

The last night on the shore, they have a cook-out on the deck. It took three tables to seat them all, but, sandwiched between Ric and Maddie, Elena found tears swimming in her eyes. Emma was seated beside Stefan, both speaking in low tones; Nora was holding court amongst the boys, both of Matt's sons obviously enthralled; Hannah was seated on Tyler's lap, giggling as he dug his fingers into her ribs to tickle her; JJ had an arm around Jeremy's neck, attempting to get his uncle into a headlock. All were smiling; all were happy.

“You okay?” Ric whispered in her ear, brushing a kiss against her temple.

Elena nodded, smiling. “Yeah, everything's perfect.”


End file.
